[autumn fashion]

It has to be done once. The fashion review of the season.
Today I was absolutely mesmerised with this Hermès website.
So inspiring. After some browsing, and
visiting this Exhibition I'd so want to do something
with fashion again.
Most of the new stuff at Urban Outfitters reminded me
way too much of our childhood in the 80's and 90's
and therefore I can't yet quite take it seriously enough
that my eyes would have adjusted to think of it
as fashion.
But there were some items that caught my eye.

Anglomania Wool Drape Mac

Malababa Tan Agate Clutch

Silence + Noise Soft Origami Skirt

game over.

I really should not be writing about this in this hour, with lack of sleep and some paracetamol for migraine. But i'm off for a week and this one was last one fro my notes... Sorry if my trail of thoughts will be impossible to follow. Some things just are better out than in.

First book recommendation: Joshua Harris - I kissed dating goodbye.
I know lot of people don't really fancy it, or refuse to read it, but I really think that this guy has a point.
Yes I may be disappointed, I may be tired of the game, I may be desperate :) but ...Let me explain.

There are years in my life that I really hope I could re-live with knowledge and experience and self confidence I have now.
Years that I feel I wasted as I lived to please others and not for myself or to please God. (as He would need that,... ;)
Well anyway, one of the best advice my dad gave me, was to "be just friends with boys as long as possible". I wish
now I would have listened better, it would have kept me away from a lot of trouble. I have always got on well with boys, it has been both a great blessing and a curse. With girls it takes often more time to make friends with, I have to first to find a way to overcome my own insecurity and feeling of comparison.
I have some amazing girlfriends though, who are really my sisters, allies of one for all and all for one. But as I said I have got on well with boys and hung out with a lot of them. Kind of like snow white and seven dwarfs :) (not really) And at some earlish point I also discovered woman's ability to manipulate, emotionally blackmail and desire to rule over man. (editors note: that's all wrong, of the habit now :) )
No good. And also I somehow thought that man gives identity, and security, and comfort. (editor's note 2: that's all not right either, off the habit as well,...)

Well, now to spare you from long story, I jump to conclusions here that I have made from experience:
1) romantic love is not THE answer, sometimes, possibly an answer, but despite what hollywood says
2) this is not a GAME, relationships between boys and girls, it is so not a game so please, stop playing and counting score, be friends and play in the same team
3) dating is not really necessary, go and make friends, light casual and good intimate deep fun friendships, go out with people without romantic obligations or intentions (and make it clear to people you go out with), get to know people, develop your character, find out what you think about life and how you want to live it and finally one day marry someone who is your best friend as well.

You might disagree but then it's only that didn't explain it well enough :D

Have a great week, learn to love and respect each other! x

Synchronizing Beat and Breathing.

If madness is the new sane.
Sometimes, when making choices i feel like loosing what i have had left of my mind.
Up against hard cold facts my own intuitive choices shake but stand tall with their back to the wall. Few days ago I was clearly shown in black and white the consequences of my former decision as sort of closing of the accounts. Side i had chosen appeared - ...white? - spacious, open, uncertain, even intimidating, challenging, adventurous, full of options. Not predictable. Even foolish. Choosing to live life to chase the way and will of God.
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1.Cor.1:18

To choose invisible.
You can't see the wind, but you can see the effect of the wind. Greek word pneuma means both breath, wind and spirit. My prayer is to be the effect of the Spirit.
This yearning relates to sense of freedom, a freedom to journey.
Have you seen the movie called "Chocolat"? In the movie leading lady Vianne (Juliette Binoche) senses "the north wind" and feels that like her family's tradition, it's time to pack up things and go, move further. I know this sounds crazy, but every now and then, i feel the north wind calling. I can hear it's beat. It used to be escaping but i think things i used to escape have been dealed with. Do you rather escape or conquer?
The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit. Joh. 3:8

To live requires to hear beat and to be able to breath.
Heart beats. Heart is often underestimated. Heart is essential. King Solomon is remembered as the wisest man ever, and it wasn't because of the size of his brain. Rather, when God invited him to ask for anything in all the world, Solomon asked for a wise and discerning heart (1 Kings 3:9). Would you excuse me for using "hearing the beat" as a metaphor for knowing? As knowing by heart. Deep, justified, warranted, well-founded, well-grounded knowledge flowing from deep inside which leads to deep insights.

To hear the beat is to know when to jump.

To jump requires courage. To not to lose heart when you need to trust invisible. One's courage increases by experience and by learning (to trust). To trust the great unknown, to trust invisible. To trust to learn, to learn to fly. I wonder how flying would feel like breathing, something so natural. One day i will live as i was meant to fly. Not trusting to myself but the great I am.
"...the LORD God formed the man The Hebrew for man (adam) sounds like and may be related to the Hebrew for ground (adamah) it is also the name Adam (see Gen. 2:20). from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." Gen.2:7

Life is a battle (you get beaten sometimes) and a journey (sometimes it's beauty takes your breath away). Be blessed.