[missing you]

Like a hunger that no food satisfies
Like a fire that doesn't warm
Like thirst in a desert
Like a ghost limb that's itching
Like ripping off a bandage, slowly
Like loosing a hundred dollar bill in the wind
Like dropping my ice cream on the floor
Like getting lost without a map
Like a perfect dress i didn't get to wear
Like a gray and rain while on summer holiday
Like a endless tickle or tick
Like my heart is having a constant fit
Uncomfortably vulnerable/
Unable to breath/
Utterly, constantly there,
[Can't wait to get you here]

[him|heralaya]

The only problem with waking up from
the soaring hights of Himalayas,
is when haven't even quite opened my eyes
yet but need to break out from the cocoon,
to the fresh mountain air and have that feeling
that something is missing,
like if there already is,
in the dream,
another cocoon somewhere
within an arms reach,
and awake,
it's not yet,
my hand found only faith to grasp
onto, when it reached out to hold.
Can a dream,
that has not audible words yet but
a vague but bright hope and a silent desire,
can it become,
is it within reason
to allow the dream be,
alive and kicking
three two one.

[Dear.]

Aamuruskon peura,
hämärtyvien puiden suojassa
minä odotan
Lukemattomien erkaantuvien askelten otteessa
Idän puolella valot kertovat kodeista
aukenevan kaiun huminan laulu pakenevasta hetkestä
En pelkää pimeää
Kylkiluuton, Tule,
en ole valmis minäkään
kyllä nuo kultaiset linnut ohjaavat
seitsemän valtameren rannoille
merirosvojen aarteille
salaisille saarille
elävän veden lähteille
Tule, juostaan.

[ella con hable]

She draws sweet pictures to your words,
Writes down aberrant words for your songs.
Savage,
She was born again as a white tiger.
Controversial stretching across canvas.
Her laughter is soap bubbles on the sky
and she doesn't let you go before
the dawn paints scenery with it's golden hue.
Uncontrollably life giving
breathing strong
longing, what a beautiful word
(kaipaus mikä ihana sana)
for space that gives form for
things once dreamed off.
With tickling beams of light you drew her out of shadows
after
recognising something in her
rather priceless.
She dances around like diamonds of kaleidoscope
so don't worry if the equation always
ends up different outcome,
and yet you can't quite find loyalty
like that in anywhere beyond jonathan.
Fairies burn,
fluffy ones die,
But Hope will live to eternity.

"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

When the invisible story of One King,
a band of brothers, the lost boys, 
children of the revolution 
and a warrior princess unfolds it sounds 
like mud and looks like cake 
and there is nothing fake.


This is the soundtrack of my life these days, 
fairly unique remix of a song of the saints, 
hum and drum of cloud of witnesses.


"...in the silence of the night 
it was solitude 
that spoke to my skin 
and it was all monochrome before the glorious dawn..."


Nothing heals one better than good company, 
it is closeness that gives energy and restores.
Sometimes catch myself searching for a lost thought 
that slipped away 
when i got distracted by a flutter of butterfly effect


It kills my ego that you just tolerate if even so, if even so.
But hey it's okay and I better let you go.


Because if i'm betting against you i'd rather loose.


(And I think I'm in love, always and forever.)


__________________________________________
Grazie mille e buona notte! In my head this song sounded rather like The Mouldy Peaches.

passionata

I have always liked the metaphor of life being a journey.

And once again I feel like the is this period of transition that I'm facing.

And once again I don't quite know where all this is going.

I was reading an article about passion,

(read Greater Love By Daniel Jones )

and kept thinking that I used to think myself as fairly passionate person,

but now a lot of that spark, willingness to fight and suffer for something

seems to be hiding. But I don't want to become lukewarm, I want to feel alive.

I want to beed God to come to my rescue and I want to ride out to the gates

of the hell to rescue others. I want to find ways to find those who in our comfortable,

safe, materialistic, abundant western (european) life are the poor who need good news,

who are the brokenhearted that need binding, captives that need freedom and

the prisoners who need to be released from the darkness.

Will you help me to find my passion? Will you join me in the battle?

In The Allure of Hope, Jan says, “Eve was convinced that God was withholding something from her.” Not even the extravagance of Eden could convince her that God’s heart is good. “When Eve was [deceived], the artistry of being a woman took a fateful dive into the barren places of control and loneliness.” (J. Eldredge Wild at Heart , 51–52) I can definitely relate to that. I have amazing friends who all are doing amazing things and sometimes I do feel stuck and frustrated and pointless and like God can't (or doesn't really bother to) use me. That's again where I need to remember that I am completely unique, there is no one else who know exactly things I know, has had exactly those life experiences that I have had and God has specific plan for me.

I know that there must be more than this...

"Entering the Company of the Great Explorers"

...this breeze seems to be whispering sounds of lands my eyes have not seen/ these dancing sunbeams telling stories of shores my foot hasn't touched/
stars flickering above promising to guide us/
clouds burning heaven's high five's/

call of a nomad/
explorer/
runs through my veins/
longing for those adventures at my fingertips/


And no, I don't expect you to be my adventure,
but it would be nice if you would invite me along
I am loyal I won't quit
But I can only be there if you have initiated

morning song

woke up in a sound of a love song/
after a night of strangest dreams/
today is the way to go forward/
walk in mercies renewed/
sing along/

sing along sing along/
it makes me smile inside/
and to know
everything is going to turn out just fine/

you hear beats and tunes of places where we haven't yet been /
that is just intriguing/
i want to dance to that tune/
say that we can make it/

sing along sing along/
it makes me smile inside/
and to know
everything is going to turn out just fine/

i need you to sing out aloud so i know how our voices sound/
and i can only follow what i hear/
so i skip along to the invisible beat/
and sing along sing along

sing along sing along/
it makes me smile inside/
and to know
everything is going to turn out just fine/

...rib musings...

thoughts here probably should never be published. :)
if you continue reading, it's on your own responsibility,..

God is the only source for all things good.

In everything and in all I should have my focus in Him
give it all to Him.
I should intentionally do everything with God and for him,
it is not alright to do things just as "things"
even if my heart and motives are pure.
Outcome might look exactly same, but there is nothing
(except sin) that I could not do with God and for Him.
And even if I sin God doesn't abandon me, we are past that
but more I have my focus in Him the less likely I am to sin.
And God is interest in everything in my life, university lectures,
meals with friends, movies, sports, and He wants to be an active
participant. It's up to me whether I tune in to Him.
And no He might not always say something audible but He is there.
All good learning process.

I thought today that if Jesus is preparing his bride
I thought it would be brilliant that I could start preparing
me for mine, as a metaphor and as small picture-big picture.
I would love to live fully in the Kingdom in God and I think
this could be something worth to experiment.
Restoring the bride.

Restoring the house of David. I have always had a thing
for David, I think him and Esther are some of my absolutely favorite
characters in the story of God. God has been teaching me about David's life lately
and lot of things are beginning to make more sense in my life.
And all of a sudden it feels that finally I know what to pray.
I pray that things I'm able to see coming together in spiritual world,
things in my life that finally make some sense in the story
would also become true in practical, mundane life.
This is actually very much my prayer also concerning
the next step i'm planning to make,
that I could start life there true to my calling.

"Oh what a glorious day
What a glorious way
That You have saved me
Oh what a glorious day
What a glorious name"

:...being mystery and transparency, between seclusion and exposure...: - self portrait (the illustrated picture above, colored pictures in bottom corners borrowed, bottom left from cover art of Captivating by J.&S. Eldredge, recommended reading)