[garçon, je me demande]

[...and still
you don't seem to be afraid by my weakness
not confronted by my strength
you allow me to be vulnerable
what a staggering feeling
vulnerability spreads it's wings
and as it lifts up in the air
it brings in a new depth
all hues more brightly seen
more happiness than i can hold
so it spreads like
kohtalokkaasti
kuin
hattaroiden tuoksu
huvipuiston illassa
saa ihmiset hymyilemään...]

[introvert with extrovert qualities]

"Olen itse ajatellut eroa intro- ja ekstroverttien välillä näin. Kuvittele, että pudotat pisaran vesiväriä paperille ja katsot, kuinka pisara leviää ja laajenee hitaasti suureksi kuvioksi.

Tämä on tapa, jolla introvertti kokee elämän: mitä tahansa hänelle tapahtuukin, kokemukset menevät hänessä syvemmälle ja ne kasvavat hänen sisällään hitaasti kypsyen. Introvertit eivät ole koko ajan äänessä, joten he havainnoivat enemmän; he poimivat herkemmin sanomattomat viestit rivien välistä; ja mitä tahansa heille tapahtuu, he pohtivat sitä pidempään ja syvemmin.

Kaltaiseni ekstrovertit taas... ai mikä pisara? Ai mihin osui? Me olemme usein kuin amerikkalaisia myyntitykkejä japanilaisten haikurunoilijoiden illallisella, emmekä edes huomaa, miten rusennamme herkkiä introverttejä tunnottoman kengänpohjamme alle."

Lue kokonaan täältä

Another fascinating column by Jani Kaaro, my favorite columnist in HS. It encouraged
me who sometimes feel guilty of my introvert features.

My own rough translation:

"I have thought about the difference between the intro- and extroverts like this: Imagine that you drop a drop of water color on paper and watch how the droplet spreads and expands slowly becoming a great pattern.

This is the way in which an introverted experiences life: whatever happens to him, the experience goes deeper in him, and the experiences grow inside of him, maturing slowly. Introverted are not talking all the time, so they are observing more, they then more likely to pick up the unsaid things between the lines, and whatever happens to them, they reflect on it longer and more deeply.

Extroverts like me again ... O what drop? Oh, what hit and where? Like American selling guns at the Japanese haiku poetry dinner we do not even notice how we can crash the sensitive introverted under our numb feet. " - Jani Kaaro

[o-hoy]

"It is what makes one day different from other days, one hour different from other hours"

And it makes me see everything in different light,
and no matter what the topic is,
all the references I come up with
dance around this circle, and

I quite enjoy just knowing that I am here now.

Welcome, unknown.

[Snakes and ladders]

if I ever am not sure why are you so 

good to me

Just respond with a tickle

and make sure it makes me giggle

maybe our strongest weapon is laughter

it tears down walls

and everything is 

magnificent 

I don’t want to keep dreaming

I want to live in the reality

for every moment I choose to 

live with my eyes open

what I see 

turns out to be more beautiful

and almost breathtaking

And I never know how this 

turns out

and I don’t have answers

but I just have to learn to be 

loved

deep calling

with deep

spirit that

has a soul

that has a body

[rock, paper, scissors]

"Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1. Cor. 13: 8 - 12

[in the battle against fears]

...the opposite team never plays fair.

[trembled]

read it’s your 46 to my 54

at the market rare things count

so much beauty and desire wasted 

why is it so

painful leftovers turning bitter with time

and while we are not like those chosen ones

two options, to blame circumtances

or turn the hatred inside

these tears burn

April light so blinding bright

hard is shines makes all the mistakes outlined

I feel like a fool

and regret and blame myself

have I allowed fantasy determine

My own inconsistency irritates

Fears run over

slap me on the other cheek too

when there should be no shame

I can see the dots but they have no order

can’t figure out how the lines should connect

and am too senseless to ask for direction

just plain scared, alright

don’t come closer it can’t end up well, maybe i’m poisonous somehow,

don’t let me sabotage this if there is any chance

don’t let me off the hook so easily

please

and still i can’t understand why would anyone dare to care

hope you didn’t just lead me on

for the sake of being able to do so

if it was just a game you have played with diamonds only to waste them 

if i fell for what i had pointed out for the others wasn’t fair

maybe it serves me right

stupidity costs

and i’m not an innocent one here, guilty as charged

just wishing it would have been different

for once

and all we ever want is for someone to be there 

at the end of the day and say we are quite okay.